Did you ever notice that as the world gets more complicated, the desire for nostalgia and “simplicity” becomes more and more prevalent? There comes a point when everything is so confusing and confounding that we find ourselves yearning for simpler times when, to our minds anyway, things just made sense. Of course, there’s not really any such time. I don’t know that things have ever made sense any more now than they did fifty or even a thousand years ago. You can certainly find old clay tablets with writings that complain of the same issues then that we find ourselves in now. So why does nostalgia persist? Why does the longing for a simpler time become a yawning chasm of yearning that many (including myself at times) can’t seem to pull ourselves out of?

As the title of this post might suggest, this isn’t merely a hypothetical question that I’m asking for no reason, in fact I’m finding myself in much the same boat. Craving a simpler time (whatever that might mean).

But I’m not just nostalgic for the simpler times of my youth, back before the full ugly grip of Capitalism had reached me, before I had to work and pay rent and every hobby felt like it ought to be monetized otherwise why bother? Although that nostalgia is there too.

I’m specifically nostalgic for a particular facet of my youth. A time when technology felt promising, not exhausting. When the internet was fresh and exciting. Before AI slop and becoming “advertiser friendly” were shoved down our throats. Before even blogs were relegated to this exhausting new world where they all seem to say the same thing but in different and more tiresome ways.

I realized recently that I miss blogs as a general idea. Not just writing them but reading them too. I miss magazines, and proper websites. Far too many of the websites that I frequent as of late are either Instagram, YouTube, or Tumblr. All social media sites. Sure there’s Pinterest although the prevalence of AI slop on that site in particular has become even more exhausting but that is frankly a different blog post for a different day. And while the mediums are all different, they all experience much the same problem. They aren’t fun anymore.

I’ve been on Tumblr since like 2009, with a slump of a year or so between 2011 and 2012. I’ve experienced all the iterations, I stayed even past their great porn ban that effectively destroyed the website from what it was into the “ad friendly” “family friendly” site that it is supposed to be now. Ad friendly, perhaps, family friendly? Not so much. Many of the ads that Tumblr now runs are either AI sex bots that run explicit video ads featuring suggestive AI women, or gambling game ads. Not just this game has a gambling mechanic but full on slot machine games. I should know I’ve repeatedly filed complaints on these ads every time they’ve popped up. Instagram when it’s not full of slop or its own advertising problems, has enough problems with pushing you to create slop at the worst of times or having to see people reacting to the dumbest shit imaginable at the worst of times. And YouTube is much the same.

None of it’s fun.

But I realized something recently, something important that I always knew but sort of lost sight of.

I can actually do something about all of this.

There are a great many things in the world that feel entirely out of control in general, particularly out of my personal control which tends to be when nostalgia creeps in the most. When we no longer feel in control of our own world, we start to look towards a time when things felt simpler, easier. We long for that simplicity because change is messy and difficult.

I don’t think there’s necessarily one easy fix to what I’m feeling as of late. Watching the same insufferable people who insisted that crypto was the future, and NFT’s were the future, yet again insist that the slop machine REALLY is the future this time guys, (and we’re gonna force it upon you either way) is frankly exhausting. I’ve seen how this plays out, and the funny thing is, it’s already starting to play out exactly as it did last time. Many companies are already starting to find out what happens when you try to replace your staff with bots in an effort to save money. And as much as I’d like to find that comforting, I’m more concerned what the next big future tech is going to be foisted upon us against our will.

The internet isn’t fun anymore, social media isn’t fun anymore, it’s all just–meaningless, exhausting, slop. So, what’s a girl to do?

My first thought was a social media sabbatical. A cleanse if you will of the bad vibes.

I deleted Instagram off of my phone (and logged out to make it that much more annoying if I were to redownload it). Closed out on my physical computer, and I might even go so far as to block the site for a while, just to ensure that I’m able to really keep myself away from it for as long as I can. I’ll also be doing the same with Tumblr and even YouTube going forward.

And then I got talking with my friend, a nurse from Florida who’s experiencing much the same issues as I am, when it comes to tech burnout, and she suggested an analog summer. Going back to CDs, DVDs, writing by hand and even reading physical books again, and that got me thinking about my own desire for a more analog experience. Something I’ve been working towards for a while but kind of fell by the wayside.

I used to hand write all the time. I own (to this day) over a hundred notebooks, at least a few dozen journals, pens, pencils, and various art supplies. If anyone is prepared to write by hand again and to make it a thing, it’s me.

While I would love to go full flip phone, iPod (I am certain that I still have my old iPod somewhere, though for the life of me I cannot find it), and digital camera, it’s not quite that simple. The idea isn’t for me to get rid of everything modern, not yet anyway, but it is to at least scale back on my dependence (particularly on multi-use devices) and work to be just a little more present in the world.

I want to write by hand again.
I want to listen to music that isn’t just through streaming again.
I want to journal by hand, and text and not feel so reliant on a cacophony of apps and social media that fill my feed with so much yet offer so little.

And don’t get me wrong, as much as I may be a luddite, I recognize how much social media has given to me. I recognize the friendships that I would not have been able to have without Tumblr, or Discord, or even Instagram. I recognize how much confidence in my own work Wattpad and AO3 have given me, because they’ve allowed me to get feedback on my work that for years was only ever read by myself. *

* I can tell you from experience, the worst thing you can do as a writer is never let others read your work, not just because feedback helps you improve but also because we are often our own worst critics and it’s so easy to get bogged down in self loathing when your own critical eye is the only one reading something.

I recognize the community that I have been able to cultivate for myself and how that makes me feel a little less alone in this world, thanks to the internet. That isn’t something I want to take for granted. I am so incredibly grateful for what I have been able to cultivate online for myself. The friendships and relationships and experiences. In fact those are all part of the reason that I and probably many others often find leaving social media entirely feels almost unthinkable. Because in a way, it is.

Challenging myself to step back from social media isn’t about cutting off my friends. Many of them I can talk to through either Discord or text.*

* I can’t help but wish AIM or some IM app would make a comeback about now. No I do not count Discord as an instant messenger app, and no I do not wish to reincorporate Facebook Messenger into my life.

The challenge, at least for myself, is to work to return to a time where I had fun on the internet.

• Check up on old blogs that I used to frequent, especially about writing.
• Read more books (and yes fic too)
• Write and journal by hand
• Listen to music that isn’t streamed. Watch DVDs and TV shows outside of streaming. (I certainly own enough on iTunes by now).
• Avoid social media (especially Instagram and YouTube)
• make more art
• Just have fun.

That is ultimately the purpose of all of this for me. To have fun.
For the record, I recognize that on some level this does start to look like checking out of politics and current events. I admit that I find everything lately to be frankly exhausting where politics is concerned especially, and at least some part of my desire to distance myself from social media is at least partly inspired by politics, manosphere nonsense and AI slop combining in a cesspit trifecta from a nightmare dimension determined to drive most of us bonkers.

However.

I actually would like to get at least some of my news from good old fashioned magazines, newspapers, and blogs. There’s a lot of fear mongering and a complete lack of awareness I find, even from “well meaning” people in terms of the effects of screaming ‘the end is nigh’ all the time. It plays not only into the hands of fascists but it plays into the hands of nihilists who feel that it doesn’t actually matter what damage is done to the world because hey it’s all gonna end soon so, fuck it.

Even people who I might otherwise agree with politically tend to take a somewhat doomeristic approach, longing for a sort of “end of the world” that would usher in a new utopia. Same concept, different branding, and ultimately missing the point because it allows people from all walks of life to essentially give up all responsibility to even attempt to make the world a better place because it’s all going to end. And in fact the worse it gets the sooner THIS bad world can end and the good world can be ushered in.

It negates the work that is required to get us to a better world in favor of Biblical cataclysm that simply ushers in a better world with no real effort on most of our parts.

I say all this to say that I have no intention of isolating myself from reality, political or otherwise. While I do need a break from the constant stream of well everything, and I want to focus more on blogs about writing, on hand writing things and music that isn’t streamed, I don’t want to isolate myself to such a degree that I might as well bury my head in the sand.

I just want to lessen the mental harm and find my joy where I can. Sometimes, in fact most times, it’s not just in an accumulation of things that bring us the most joy, it’s in little quiet moments, doing something just for you.

Going for a walk, having the window open on a chilly morning while you drive, enjoying your favorite song, and the simple pleasure of writing things by hand.

P.S: The irony is not lost on me that I wrote all of this on my computer but hey you gotta start somewhere. And at least it’s a desktop!